It’s been a while since I last wrote a serious article on the issues that face us today. I didn’t know what I was going to write about, as there were so many good topics out there to cover. Especially with the advent of all the activity on Capital Hill this week. Everything from torture, to expenditures in the war in Iraq, to corrupt politicians, to the Republicans possibly losing both of the Houses in Congress this come November. I chose none of them. Instead, I was randomly clicking through blogs on WordPress, when I came across a post about the “sanctity” of marriage. It seems that the article was written in response to the issue of same-sex marriage, and the author was rather irate at the fact that anyone would want to institutionalize this type of marriage. He even went on to compare the downfall of the Roman Empire with the fact that homosexuality was an accepted cultural norm within the Roman culture (patently false).
This is a touchy issue for a lot of people, for reasons that are extremely religious in nature. The cries of “One Man, One Woman”, “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”, and other ignorant, slightly homophobic remarks arise. The problem with these people, though, is that they do not seem to realize that there are two aspects to a marriage. These would be the religious, and the legal. Neither does it seem to these people that the institution of marriage is just as embedded into historical processes as other institutions. In other words, they would like you to think that the customs of marriage that are prevalent in society right now are the same customs that have been in place for thousands of years. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our very concept of marriage has changed throughout the years, just as our concepts of virtually every other thing has.
If you look at history, especially at the context of marriage as it has been practiced throughout the eons, you will notice that first and foremost marriage was a contract that was intended to cement property. Indeed, the whole purpose for hundreds, if not thousands, of years was to solidify control of land, property, an businesses, whether mercantile or agricultural. Hence, the adoption of the customs of dowry, and groom-gifts. It has been only in the past two hundred years or so that the current, romantic idea of marriage based in love has taken root in western society.
The problem, though, is that in this day and age, most people cling to the idea of the nuclear family with a father, a mother, and two kids living in a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. While admirable, and to be envied by those who are living that dream, this dream is becoming more and more difficult to achieve. Notwithstanding, even those who are heterosexual suffer calamities in the form of divorce. It matters not whether they are Republicans, Democrats, or one of the other parties. It does not matter if they are Christian, Atheist, or Pagan. The notion of marriage, and the family, has underwent a severe revolution within the past sixty years or so. Now, people are more likely to live in blended families, or with only one parent. If the idea of marriage was to create and protect the nuclear family, and if conservatives really wanted this to endure, then current laws on divorce would never have been enacted. However, it seems those with cooler heads have prevailed, as there will always be cases where abuse, either sexual or physical, is present, and the marriage needs to be dissolved. There are cases where infidelity is committed, and depending on the person’s religious or moral views, the marriage needs to be dissolved. The causes of a divorce are rampant, and making marriage a tighter institution, binding without compassion, is needlessly cruel and uncompassionate. Morality in the case of marriage cannot be legislated. It can only be reinforced by education, and the support of a community that knows what a good marriage is, and how to make it last. (Hence, the whole idea of having witnesses present at a marriage, as it is viewed that a marriage can only be upheld through the support of friends and families.)
Continuing on from there, there are other factors at work. What has been touched on so far is only the social. What about the religious? Should a religious interpretation of marriage be made into law? The very beginnings of marriage were not very religious in nature at all. It was the advent of Paul, who, in his epistles, created the idea of marriage with a religious aspect. Before this, most marriages were contractual affairs between families. Even after the advent of Paul, most marriage of the upper echelons of society were nothing more but the transference of goods and properties desired to keep the social status and wealth of the two respective families intact, or to augment them. Where is the religious undertones in that? Indeed, the very nature of a religious marriage between two peoples as it is currently encapsulated in society can be traced back to Puritan views of the institution.
Be that as it may, the one thing that is the pride and joy of America is the separation of the state from religion. The government could not, because of the separation clause, legislate which marriages were to be legal, and other that weren’t, based on the factor of religious ideas to the application of marriage. While this country has a long and varied history on the differing acts that have been passed that touched on this issue, the one thing that is clear is that marriage, as conceived of by the government, was an issuance of a certificate that legally recognized the union under the tax codes, and through the years, bestowed benefits upon those in such a marriage in the form of tax breaks, transference of Power of Attorney, and sundry other legal matters. In effect, there is, and was, a dichotomy within the institution. There were those factors that were completely legalistic in nature, and then there were those that were religious, and were handled by the couple’s respective churches.
In this day and age, this is desirous to have. The whole reason why the Gay Right’s Movement is rallying behind the idea of marriage for themselves is because too often a couple will be restricted in their activities of things that can be performed. For instance, if one person in the relationship were to fall ill, the other has no recourse when it comes to visiting the ill person, or in executing affairs of estate that have been left to the other because of the first’s debilitating illness. Also, when a couple has been living together, own property in tandem, and lives as a married couple of the heterosexual persuasion, why would they then be expected to contribute more in taxes then the heterosexual marriage? When a couple becomes married, there is an estimated 1,044 different tax benefits that they then receive. Do we, as a society, really want to legislate discrimination in such a form? Is that what liberty is about?
The fact of the matter is that people can become married in our government without even stepping foot into a church. All they have to do is perform their blood tests, and then sign the marriage certificate. That’s it. Nothing more. The rest of the ceremonies attending a marriage are wholly religious in nature, and divorced from the legal realities. Those who would like to ban same-sex couples from receiving the benefits of marriage are after nothing more but introducing more and more elements of theocracy into our government.
After all, who really is destroying families? From my vantage point, the vast majority of families that are disrupted have been the fault of heterosexuals. I’ve yet to read a case of a gay or lesbian person that has single-handedly disrupted even one family. Not to mention that the “sanctity” of marriage is a farce. In a day and age where people get married to boost ratings on a television program, or get married and then divorced twelve hours later, there really isn’t that much that can be considered “sanctified” by the institution.